Word of the Year (2022): Consistency
As 2022 was approaching, I found myself thinking more and more about who I wanted to be in the new year. The phrase “new year, new me” has become somewhat of a joke, but I think there’s something beautiful and sincere about wanting to create a better version of yourself year after year. I mean, really — how could I ever shame folks that see each day as a new beginning? How could I roll my eyes at people willing to, year after year, unlearn and relearn what speaks to their hearts? How could I make fun of humans striving for authenticity and seeking their inner truth?
All that is to say, I was feeling pretty committed to this whole “new year, new me” thing. I wanted to yell it from the rooftops. I wanted to parkour from bench to wall to sidewalk, yelling “new me, new you, new everyone!” at the top of my lungs. Except…I still hadn’t identified what kind of “new me” I wanted to be.
So I got to reflecting. I thought about this year — about my loved ones; about my tears and laughter and excitement and fear; about its many changes and challenges — and I realized that the thread that held me steady through it all were the relationships that make me feel like my best self. My husband’s love; my best friends’ hands squeezing my own; my dad and Ms. Tricia’s hearty laughter, in unison; my mom and brother’s spontaneous, speaker phone-blaring, three-way calls; my therapist’s side-eye followed by crackling laughter. And not only that, but I also thought about my relationship with myself — how much more I’ve learned to love myself this year; how I’m finally, finally starting to see my flaws as just flaws, and not irrefutable evidence of my own unworthiness.
I realized that my goal was to be consistent in fostering and maintaining these relationships. I want my friends and family to feel as loved as they make me feel. And so “consistency” is my word of the year. Consistency with reaching out, with sending birthday cards in the mail, with uplifting the friends and communities that I hold dear. Consistency with journaling and examining my feelings so that I can bring my best self to all of my relationships.
Today (1/5) I wished my mama a “happy beating-breast cancer! anniversary”. It’s my second year in a row of doing so, after 15 years (oops) of treating it like just another day. She replied, “Thank you for remembering and acknowledging. It means a lot.” I could tell how appreciative she was of my text, which was such a simple and easy thing for me to send. Moments like these that confirm “consistency” is the right word for me in 2022.
